As A Desperate Mom…

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I recently read Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson. A book I wish I had been given 14 years ago.

Sarah Mae writes honestly from her heart. Telling us like it is. Telling it the way we, as tired, weary, (dare I say, often lonely?) moms of young children, feel deep down inside but are afraid to say out loud.

Page after page, I found myself underlining full paragraphs and writing “YES!!” in the margins. My head nodded as I read descriptions of disappointments where her expectations of what motherhood would be like were shattered by real life.

It is so nice to know I’m not the only one that has been there.

Thankfully, Sally comes along and shares wisdom learned from rearing her own four children. She tells of having some of the same experiences and follows it up with how she approached each one and what she has gleaned from them.

Sally gives many suggestions and ideas to overcome and gain victory, offering practical ways of countering many issues though careful to not give a formula or an absolute “this is the way it is done”.

Over and over she reminds us that every family is different and God created each family with its own culture and personality. We were all made with so many wonderfully different attributes and I am thankful for the reminders that we are. all. different. Consequently, there is no single answer to the issues we face as moms.

Sarah Mae shares about her struggles to follow formulas regarding disobedience and discipline, which so often result in false guilt. I found it identical to my own experience.

“I was told that if I would just do X, Y, and Z, she would obey. If she wasn’t obeying, it was my fault; I was doing it wrong. Of course I felt like a terrible mother.”

Oh, yes. I’ve been there myself.

“Formulas don’t create guilt, but failing to get the desired result from following formulas most certainly can lead to horrible feelings of inadequacy and guilt…”

So very true.

She followed much of the bad advice I had been given as a new mom with the same result I got. She writes of the effect it had on her son, “It was not heart corrective; it was heart damaging.”

Much of these issues which lead to deep disappointment leads many moms into the darkness of depression. I am so thankful that she was open about her experience with that battle.  Having been there myself, it was refreshing to read that I was not alone in my experience.

Sally gives wonderful advice to anyone with a dear one going through the valley of depression;

“be careful not to condemn your friend, and in doing so drive her away.”

“Christians should not shoot the wounded with pharisaical attitudes.”

I can’t count how many times I have been on the receiving end of such treatment.

In stark contrast, Jesus showed compassion.  “…Jesus was a redeemer who took initiative to reach out to the lost and pull them up into life…” .

Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, Sally, for sharing this valuable advice and to Sarah Mae who was brave to write about her struggles as a mama.

Many who aren’t even mamas should read this book.

As you can tell from the photo, there are so many quotes, lessons learned, and practical ideas I found. I have marked many of them so I can refer back to them in the future.

You can get your own copy here.

Keep hiking forward,

Sharon 🙂

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*I have not been financially compensated for this review. I was sent a free copy. All my opinions here are my very own. There are no affiliate links.

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