Tuesdays Unwrapped: Playing the Game

 

In the past I have written of how I began blogging due to Emily’s Tuesdays Unwrapped series which she ran long ago. You can find some of those posts here, here, and here. This one being one of my very favorites. I met Emily in real life at Relevant ’11 and what a joy that was (#989 here).When I finally began a blog of my own I could not wait to jump in with both feet and figure out how to link up and participate. My first ever Tuesdays Unwrapped post is here.

For the month of December, on Tuesdays, Emily has invited us to unwrap our gifts with her at Chatting At the Sky.  Join in if you would like. You can find the how, what, and when, here.

I have been doing a quiet Bible study with a good friend on Tuesday mornings. We are going through Beth Moore’s study of James. I have been wanting to do this particular study for a very long while. I was so excited to start and get my book and listen to Beth tells us all she learned while studying it out for herself and us. I could listen to Beth Moore teach all. day. long.

In the written work for week one she mentions the ‘addiction to comparison’. I have fallen in that ditch many times in my life. Maybe you have too? You know the one where you silently compare yourself or something you do or a ministry you are involved in with someone else’s. Or someone else’s blog or writing abilities.

I stumbled across this:

“If we don’t refuse ourselves the indulgence [of our addiction to comparison], we can lapse into the mentality of a spoiled child who thinks that, if God shows you favor, He must hate me.”

How many times have I had to diffuse that one with my own children? More times than I can count.

But this time? The Lord spoke to me, “How about you Sharon? Isn’t that one of the root causes of the depression you battle?” (A battle being one that so often feels as if there is no end in sight?)

Ouch.

And yet? What a gift to unwrap!

It brought clarity to the battle I have over assurance of my own salvation. Which is crazy and contradictory and so illogical coming from one who solidly claims (and knows all the supporting verses) the doctrine of the eternal security of the believer. However I am forgetful. Because even though I know this to be true I still trip and beat myself up, put myself down and criticized myself into a point of thinking, “I must not be saved if I don’t do this or behave that way or think this way or I constantly fail at victory over this or that.” All the while knowing in my deepest inner core that there isn’t any truth in it because NOTHING can separate me from the love of God. Romans 8:31-39 tells me this and still I trip into that pit over and over.

 

Isn’t that playing the comparison game? Because what is the standard I am holding myself up to?

Usually? What I see in others and my critical eye does not see in myself.

Yes, God’s Word says I should do this or that but… it also says I will never be perfect and isn’t that the point of GRACE? That perfection and true maturity only come with our final redemption of this body of flesh, when we finally breath our first breath of Heavenly air.

Is there anything you keep stumbling on?

Do you ever play the comparison game in your own head?

This is Part 1 of a series. You can read Part 2 here and Part 3 here.

Linking up to Emily Wierenga’s Imperfect Prose too.