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Saved and Trapped All At Once: Art Journey, Part 4

So that guy I had a crush on that didn’t like me too much… well, lets just say I changed his mind. 

And he helped to change mine too, but I will get to that later.

Though he may have thought me to be a monster while helping to get the Student Art show juried and hung, by the time the show opened I knew his name and by the time the show closed in May, just a few short weeks later, we were dating.

How did he help me change my mind?

He took me to church.

In October, 1991, we visited his dad’s church and I liked it and wanted that hope and peace that trio of ladies sang about. I wanted to have the secure anchor that guy sang about. I stood there with white knuckles gripping the pew but I came back week after week. Finally, on Christmas Eve, I accepted Christ as my Savior. I felt such a huge weight lift right off of me. I was ‘saved’ and on my way to heaven, I had become a Christian.

The church wherein I received Christ however was rather legalistic. If you were not doing A, B, and C then you better “check your salvation”. Even though the doctrine of Eternal Security was preached, it was overshadowed by all the legalism. Though I was now a follower of Christ, I was trapped in a box of legalism and it would be 18 years before I would realize I was inside a very small box.

I sat as a new Christian and listened to someone preach their personal opinions, which regarding art and literature were very slanted, and I was very influenced and being immature in my faith took everything in as though it were solid doctrine.

His negative opinions in the areas of art and literature were taken in and it changed my thinking hence putting me in a trap in which I was caught until 2009.

I loved the pastor who lead me to Christ and when he taught the Bible, without his opinion mixed in, he was a fantastic teacher. I learned so much sitting under his teaching and it did give me a great doctrinal foundation. He influenced me for a lot of good. He gave me a thirst for reading biographies of great men of the faith and missionary stories and the like.

However when it came to art he could only see the negative in all of it and would only refer to that. For him all art was bad and something to be avoided with maybe the exception of Albrecht Durer’s Praying Hands.

When it came to the subject of literature he did not read anything fictional. He had a disdain for C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien which I never understood. He loved Bunion’s Pilgrim’s Progress but had nothing but negativity for Lewis’ Narnia.

When it came time for me to transfer colleges to finish my Bachelor’s degree, I was intimidated to try something new. Going to a big university as opposed to the small community college I was so comfortable at was overwhelming to me. So I just didn’t. I stopped my education at an AA degree. I decided that I didn’t need a college degree to get married and have kids. I don’t regret my choice either, I couldn’t imagine life without my wonderful husband and fabulous kids.

What I regret is shutting down to art. Even though I hoarded art supplies and dragged them half-way around the world, and desired to instill a love for art in my kids, I seldom did anything except snap photos. I didn’t even doodle.

When the kids started having drawing assignments in their art books for school, I dabbled a bit with them. I wanted them to be creative and I wanted to still do creative stuff, just not as a career. Though I craved being creative, art had been lowered to not even a pastime or hobby and I made no time at all for creativity.

When we first arrived on the mission field I drew this as a card to send to a friend who was about to become a mom. It was the last thing I drew for a long time and it obviously was never sent.



I did very little art-wise for 18 years.


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If you have missed the first two parts of this story you can find them by clicking the links below:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

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